I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dicks are not precious.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize