So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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