I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize