the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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