she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
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We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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