butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize