i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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