There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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