Do you still have your period?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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