Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
