these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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