okay pat passed out under dana's car
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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