Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
