you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
