you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
