:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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