Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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