Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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