Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's rum buckets o'clock
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
