mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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