Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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