pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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