I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
