you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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