dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Randomize
