we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
