its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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