I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
