apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
