Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
