May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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