I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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