ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize