she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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