Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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