I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
