How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
