we have pet lesbian snakes
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
