the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
