the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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