I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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