the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
