that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
