How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
