sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
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