butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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