Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
don't judge my taste in strippers
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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