how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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