if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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