I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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