Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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