One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
