apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
