Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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