All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
