pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just high enough for therapy.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
