I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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