Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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