i think my tv is drunk
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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