it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
