please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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