i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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