I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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