And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
