Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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