last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Help. Why am I so naked?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
