I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
