i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
