this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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